What’s wrong with this line from a novel?
Sharon became upset.
It’s a classic case of telling rather than showing—a fiction-writing no-no. If you tell your readers that Sharon became upset, you have interpreted and labeled her emotional state for them, rather than letting them do this for themselves.
Showing a character’s emotion in your novel is easy if you just remember always to let the reader see and/or hear what a character does when experiencing any given emotion. So . . . You know this character Sharon whom you’ve created. What would she do if she became upset?
Examples of see:
Sharon slammed her fists down on the table.
Sharon slapped Adam hard across the face.
Sharon covered her face with her hands and inhaled deeply.
Examples of hear:
“How dare you say that to me?”
“I . . . I can’t talk about that now.”
“Stop talking about it!”
Only you can tell us what she’d do and/or say. The point is, show it to us. Don’t expect readers to believe you if you simply tell them.
Emotion is as emotion does.
Let your readers figure out what emotion characters are feeling by reading their actions.
